Falling in love with Jesus

I have lived long enough on this earth to have the cognizance of what makes people fall in love, stay in love and even run out of love. The sweetest, cutest, honest, or the niftiest is not going to cut to the chase. Having an extraordinary partner doesn't seem good enough. Is it because the human heart is crazy or are we unsatiable? It is secret option number three.


Before we go there, why isn't our heart "fully" satisfied? That is because the heart is not a simple love machine, it is complex, preposterous and has an impermeable layer of purity that worldly love cannot pour into. You may think I am making this stuff up , but you're welcome to verify and research and even take a moment and reflect. How much ever a person loves you, treats you well, trusts you, appreciates you, floods you with goodness, there is vaccum and loneliness lurking somewhere in your heart. The love your heart earns is of Jesus.

I was a tramp

People who know me think I am this Jesus fanatic, obsessed, walking in the sides, coloring within the lines goodie churchie girl. They couldn't be more wrong. There is also this idea that I am religious - wooah! I didn't want to befriend Jesus you know, because let's be honest. It didn't make sense. If I am screaming in pain and want someone to get me pizza and chocolate, He isn't going to be my friend and show up at my doorstep. So what does it really mean to call Jesus your friend?

I live with this understanding, that even people who love you the most cannot sometimes help you. This is true because, they are also people and there is only so much humans can do that can heal the heart. Inversely, Jesus can do better than a human. He is not just better than human help but there is nothing beyond Him.

I find myself wondering atimes if my devotion to Jesus is because I cannot find a truer friend than Him or is it because I love Him? Its a fine line. Sure, I love that He spoils me with goodness. But that's not it, He really understands. He is open to my imperfections. He is accepting of my flaws. He is not judgemental. He is patient. He believes in me. He is my cheer leader. He encourages me to do better. He wants me. He desires me. His heart longs for me, 

Why then would I mot fall in love with Him!

Finding Jesus.

Jesus is not a bad word. Unless you are not willing to help yourself and admit you need someone who will love you unconditionally and will not judge and ridicule you for your faults, don't bother to read further.

God created the Heaven and the Earth and all things in between. He is the Giver of life, the Captain of all people, and the Chiefest of Counselors. It amazes me that someone (Jesus) of such stature in all respects has unfulfilled desires. See God is great (we all would have heard that a lot) but let me tell you this. He is very poor too. He is so poor that sometimes He is longing for our attention. There are a zillion people on this planet, yet the Lord wants to spend time with you. Yes, you. He enjoys your company in prayer, thanksgiving, singing and praises. 

The heart of Jesus is so huge that it can forgive all the mistakes of all the people that are to ever walk on this earth and still so tender and compassionate that it breaks a little every time we hurt him. I wish people understand Jesus the right way. I do not understand how someone can ever misunderstand Him. I can give you an array of adjectives to describe His character and love for you, but I want to talk to you about the heart of Jesus. His heart is everything that is love, care, grace, affection, mercy, compassion, long-suffering, purity, and so much more.

You may not have been introduced to Jesus, may be you didn't have a Christian friend or may be the family you are from raised you in an orthodox and uptight manner that blinded your inner eyes. Whatever the case may be, its not late.. yet. More than anything Jesus is your friend, He has the potential to be your best friend and mentor. 

Just come to a place of peace and stillness in your heart and commune with Jesus. Try Him. Call on Him. Talk to Him. Ask Him. Seek Him. YOU WILL FIND HIM.

Life goes on..

Packing lunch for parents is quite a nice thing to do, so I hurriedly stuffed their boxes, as parents can also be like the kids that run late to school. It was around 10 am and I felt that the day was already over. I hate the feeling of having nothing to do in a world of infinite opportunities. Um, yeah, I heard how it sounded in your head. So let me rephrase it, "I hate myself for allowing me to feel that I have nothing to do in this world of infinite opportunities."

Unable to delete those defecating thoughts of nothingness and self pity, I went to my room and spiralled on my bed. I was telling myself in the ghastly way possible that I do not want to sleep away right now, I do not want to be succumbed to anything lecherous or defiling on thoughts or actions just because I feel empty inside. I lay there feeling bleak at heart and pained in my soul. I think I allowed myself to fall asleep for 15 mins, it felt like one of those cold nights, where the chillness in the atmosphere gives you the feeling of luxury and comfort, the natures way. I thought it was raining as I could hear the droplets of joy and the smell of sweet petrichor and I could feel my heart dampen with cognizance and willingness to shake off my doleful and pessimistic feeling about life.

I turned over and faced the ceiling, still having my eyes closed as I was too afraid to open my eyes to my pathetic self. I told myself under my breath those 3 magic words, 'Life goes on..' 

"Everyday is a choice we make to improve our present state of life or dig ourselves an early grave." I thought of all the underprivileged people on this planet, destroyed by the inability to grow out of their poverty, drug addiction, slavery, epidemic diseases and those dying in war camps and battlefield. I thought of the free life I have, without ANY of the above mentioned cripplement. Every moment is a decision we make to be happy and bold irrespective of the circumstances we are in. 

God, do you have a minute?

Dear God,

What do you want from me? I do not have the power or knowledge to fight  you. Obviously, You will win as You are the Almighty. I surrender to you because I need peace in my heart. I know only You can provide that. I got no idea about the people of the world. How they lead their lives and do their tasks. But as for me, I need you. I don't think I can possibly take a step forward in my life without your help. Will you please be considerate of my heartache and help me Lord?

In Jesus Name.
Amen.

-- 10 mins later --

Dear God,

Thank You so much for opening my heart and removing the bitterness and negativity from it. You touched me, and now I feel saved. You are indeed a great and mighty God, mysterious in Your working and unbelievable in Your leading. I cannot explain how much happy and spirited I feel now Jesus dear. I sincerely hope and pray that every single person in this world allow their hearts to be touched by Your love. Thank You so much from the bottom of my heart. Love you till the end dad.

Much love,
Jenita Allen

Love Unconditional

God created the Universe,

The shining stars and the beaming sun,

He let the earth hung on it,

Yet held me close in His heart.

I cannot speak of His love divine,

It is pure, it is radiant and it is undefiled,

To have a Father and Friend like Him,

I did no good or helped no poor,

His Mercy reaches the ends of the Universe,

His grace shoots up till the Milky way.

To think this world is here to stay,

Is akin to the sheep that has no understanding of the slaughter house,

The butcher is waiting with his sharpened knife,

But he looks so pleasant and charming to the face.

Don't fall a prey, 

Your life is most precious.

Jesus hung on the cross and purchased you with His blood,

Don't let the devil deceive you.

He shows you pearls and lures you with vain joy,
His heart is crooked, his ways are twisted.

Is not the God who created you not know what kind of joy you will need?
Try Jesus.
You will never want the world again.
Come to Him now, He is waiting for you. 

Sin: Behind its sweetness

I remember how it came in colours of purple, scarlet and black,

Beautiful to the naked eye,

In multi-coloured robes it came toward me beaming,

I swayed in its allure and it made me blind to the truth.

My heart kept beating fast,

The temperature within me was rising, 

I started feeling disconnected to my heart and mind,

I almost surrendered.

Step by step, inch by inch, 

The determination, purity and self-will faded,

Sin has a power, it is greater than all of us, 

And I got engulfed.

I vividly remember when I gave into it, 

It was a split second, but seemed really long.

I have now been invaded, before I knew I was enslaved.

The feeling was everything opposite to glitter, shine, radiance and fragrance.

I felt like the dirt in a swine's snort.

Sin is manipulation and deception in a beautiful attire,

I felt being eaten by worms and insects would feel better than the guilt of sin. Guilt! Yes that's where the light of God shines!

This vile body is a self-destructive sheet of iron ready to feed the magnet of sin. Its that natural, effortless and obvious. It seems to me that sin and the humans are made for each other. They click in a jiffy, they get involved in less than a minute and are making-out publically and shamelessly. They both are that spontaneous and meant-to-be.

Once you befriend sin, it embraces you and showers you with its choicest goodies like addiction, bitterness, unfaithfulness, hatred, disrespectfulness and abundance of pride. The funny thing is you have no idea that you have been gifted these qualities. They transcend into your personality and the transition is seamless. 

You comply and accomplish whatever your heart desires. Its as almost you get whatever your heart wants. But wait it won't be long before the candy eyed sinful snake tries to ruin you. As deep as you get into sin, you will be that close to giving up on your life.

There's Only One way to come out of it, Jesus.

His Might is all-dispersing and greater-than-sin. He is the only cure for the epidemic of sin. Not liquor or clubbing or adultery or drugs or partying. Only Jesus. Only His grace and the faith in Him. I cannot begin to describe the supremacy in Jesus' Name. 

Have you tried calling out 'Jesus' when you are in mental or physical pain? Next time, do it. Scream from the bottom of your heart. Say 'Jesus' with a sincere heart and a broken spirit and you will be amazed at His unicorn strength and how He turns your sobbing into laughter. Do it with faith. I urge all my readers to try Jesus. You will never be disappointed. That's a promise.

God bless! 

Getting Lost Amid Trees

Fancy huh? Yeah I like the idea of it too. My closest experience being around full grown dense trees was my walk in IIT-Madras for a dance event. The University campus is a lush foliage. Its a miniature world in itself. I have been there only once and I know very little about what else the place holds. Its a scenic beauty I must say. Walking under huge masculine trees is a bliss in itself. Their branches spread out like muscular shoulders and you feel safe and loved under them.

It is hard to explain how I feel when I see the beautiful majestic and vast expanse of the trees, I feel they talk to me when I continuously look at it. I feel they're listening when I speak my heart. The beautiful sun rays between the ferns and fronds against the beaming radiant sky is worth a million bucks. That's my favorite view of the trees. The window in my room opens up to this comeliness, and I love how a lone ray of sun escapes into my room, lighting up my heart and bringing a natural smile on my face.

When I got pensive about how nature introduces a pleasantness in our life despite how we treat it, it syphoned my amazement to the Master of it all, the Creator God. Everything that the Lord has made is perfect. From the sun, moon, stars, trees, seas, wind, hills, valleys.. e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. including man. How we ruin it is a wonder! Anyway, am glad that the trees are always going to stand tall, calm and inspiring to everyone that come to it despite their state of mind and I personally will always look upto it!

The Princess and the Marine 2001

This movie is a true beauty.  It was bright to my eyes and pale to my soul. I was feeling so overwhelmed and happy for the couple. When they missed each other, I was ufff.. When they got an opportunity to meet & kiss I was yay for them! I felt really good watching the movie. It is one of the very few movies I really enjoyed. I don't know if you guys have watched this movie before or planning on watching it after you'll read this, but what I gotta say is after all it sucks to know what the future holds.

I was all awww and ahhh throughout the movie and when I saw a happy ending I was all the more thrilled! When the curtains were dropped and just before the names of the cast appeared, there was a message and I was like oh boy, this sucks! You'll may not fully understand what was wrong and I don't want to fully give away the scene. You may want to watch it to decide yourself. Anyway, what inspired me to pen this post is the realisation that the Father above knows it all - in big block letters I want to repeat. HE KNOWS IT ALL. 

We are just a bunch of half-baked humans trying to put things together like we are the anchor of our lives. Huh! God is in charge of every episode in our life and when the season changes, he gives us the reason too in the following season. A happy ending might lead to a gross beginning and that inturn will head to a happy ending. There is always hope. Always and at all times till we breathe our last. I felt really bad to know how they ended up in 5 years after knowing they were inseparable in love having built their relationship on gratitude, respect, mutual desire for one another, so much determination and the willingness to be together.

But when its time, it's time! What I gathered from the People Magazine article is that the Princess had gone astray in the crazy night life of vegas. She threw away a man's endearing love for something that was vain and temporal? I am not judging here, I don't actually know what she went through. But given the circumstances and going by the statement of Johnson especially when he told the press "Deep down inside, she knows that I loved her more than anything in the world. I can say I enjoyed every minute I spent with her." I thought wow! This is love, true and surreal.

When I read what he felt for her I could feel again the strong essence of their love and the sneak-peek of how they would have felt in the fairy tale of love. Oh it was so so worth all the hardships they overcame. That's the beauty of love, there is no single explanation to define the boundaries of love. It is truly divine.

P.S Sorry for clumsily putting together unrefined thoughts, but this is what the movie did to me. Shook me up and left me in awe!