Breezy love.

This is me whenever I am wind-kissed <3

Do not trivialize the touch of an impartial chilly wind that blows at you at a manageable speed. I am a big believer of simple pleasures. When was the last time you noticed the twinkle in the eyes of a 2 year old and allowed your heart to be embraced by that innocence? Or when did you last talk to an old dame and be charmed by the slowness in her speech and the coyness in her words? Ah, I can just keep going on.. but am not :)

Have you ever sat alone in an open terrace midst tall trees and felt overcome by the joy of life? If you have, you exactly know what am talking about. The touch of breeze is so cleansing, it sometimes feels like I have been breathed upon with new life. It is an instant mood-lifter, a spontaneous hugger and a no-conditions-apply stress buster. I think it has in it the power to mesmerize and hypnotize too, cause not later than my friendly visit with the winds (in the terrace or at the beach), I am immediately in a better place mentally and I get a fresh perspective even on mundane things.

God Himself walked in the garden (of Eden) in the cool of the day. (Genesis 3:8, The Holy Bible). Should I say more? If God enjoyed his walks in chilly winds, there ain't no doubt how refreshing it is. It is safe to say that wind has a secondary purpose of easing our lives besides primarily giving us life (oxygen). Next time you are at a breezy place, get some love. Its free.

Life goes on..

Packing lunch for parents is quite a nice thing to do, so I hurriedly stuffed their boxes, as parents can also be like the kids that run late to school. It was around 10 am and I felt that the day was already over. I hate the feeling of having nothing to do in a world of infinite opportunities. Um, yeah, I heard how it sounded in your head. So let me rephrase it, "I hate myself for allowing me to feel that I have nothing to do in this world of infinite opportunities."

Unable to delete those defecating thoughts of nothingness and self pity, I went to my room and spiralled on my bed. I was telling myself in the ghastly way possible that I do not want to sleep away right now, I do not want to be succumbed to anything lecherous or defiling on thoughts or actions just because I feel empty inside. I lay there feeling bleak at heart and pained in my soul. I think I allowed myself to fall asleep for 15 mins, it felt like one of those cold nights, where the chillness in the atmosphere gives you the feeling of luxury and comfort, the natures way. I thought it was raining as I could hear the droplets of joy and the smell of sweet petrichor and I could feel my heart dampen with cognizance and willingness to shake off my doleful and pessimistic feeling about life.

I turned over and faced the ceiling, still having my eyes closed as I was too afraid to open my eyes to my pathetic self. I told myself under my breath those 3 magic words, 'Life goes on..' 

"Everyday is a choice we make to improve our present state of life or dig ourselves an early grave." I thought of all the underprivileged people on this planet, destroyed by the inability to grow out of their poverty, drug addiction, slavery, epidemic diseases and those dying in war camps and battlefield. I thought of the free life I have, without ANY of the above mentioned cripplement. Every moment is a decision we make to be happy and bold irrespective of the circumstances we are in. 

God, do you have a minute?

Dear God,

What do you want from me? I do not have the power or knowledge to fight  you. Obviously, You will win as You are the Almighty. I surrender to you because I need peace in my heart. I know only You can provide that. I got no idea about the people of the world. How they lead their lives and do their tasks. But as for me, I need you. I don't think I can possibly take a step forward in my life without your help. Will you please be considerate of my heartache and help me Lord?

In Jesus Name.
Amen.

-- 10 mins later --

Dear God,

Thank You so much for opening my heart and removing the bitterness and negativity from it. You touched me, and now I feel saved. You are indeed a great and mighty God, mysterious in Your working and unbelievable in Your leading. I cannot explain how much happy and spirited I feel now Jesus dear. I sincerely hope and pray that every single person in this world allow their hearts to be touched by Your love. Thank You so much from the bottom of my heart. Love you till the end dad.

Much love,
Jenita Allen

Love Unconditional

God created the Universe,

The shining stars and the beaming sun,

He let the earth hung on it,

Yet held me close in His heart.

I cannot speak of His love divine,

It is pure, it is radiant and it is undefiled,

To have a Father and Friend like Him,

I did no good or helped no poor,

His Mercy reaches the ends of the Universe,

His grace shoots up till the Milky way.

To think this world is here to stay,

Is akin to the sheep that has no understanding of the slaughter house,

The butcher is waiting with his sharpened knife,

But he looks so pleasant and charming to the face.

Don't fall a prey, 

Your life is most precious.

Jesus hung on the cross and purchased you with His blood,

Don't let the devil deceive you.

He shows you pearls and lures you with vain joy,
His heart is crooked, his ways are twisted.

Is not the God who created you not know what kind of joy you will need?
Try Jesus.
You will never want the world again.
Come to Him now, He is waiting for you. 

Feeling Fat, Ugly and Good.

I'd like to be honest, even in my writing. So here comes the bitter waffle wrapped in chocolate sauce.

When you're 25, just married and your husband is super hot and you both live in a cosmic city amidst equally good-looking & great friends and *wait for it* YOU weigh 185 pounds (equivalent or more than a fully pregnant lady) *long pause* you know your happiness is compromised.

Whoever, whenever, however says that its okay to be on the healthy side i.e. a little plumpy, either does not understand women or has dreams to pursue & goals to attain or self respect, or the desire to live amicably, joyously or appreciably. Though I sound absolutely harum-scarum and completely opinionated, trust me when I say that I am not angry, fed up, distressed or hopeless. 

Lets be honest, we are still the same people that allow our eyes to pause a little longer on a toned body at the supermarket or a traffic signal and seamlessly look away from someone who look like a beached whale without an iota of asservation (even in our subconcious mind) that there was a person in the vicinity that our eyes fell upon, even accidently.

Here's the real deal. To want to look good can be your state of mind but to be good-looking is the norm of the society. From the broadband service guy who comes to your house to fix the seldom connecting modem to the sales girl at a road-side store wearing a stem long earring, everyone is high on looking good and scouting for attention, but what has all that to do with self esteem?

Self-esteem is based on what you think;
Self-respect is based on what you do. 


Don't misinterpret or misunderstand them. It is extremely normal for any person (however huge) to love themselves and not be a bigot. In fact as against popular saying that fat people have low esteem, I can tell from experience that the bigger ones are more open-minded, friendly and approachable, care-free and mildly innocent. I recently read in foxdc.com about Amani Terrell (250 pounds) who walked around wearing only a bikini in the Hollywood boulevard. What she said was truly meaningful and inspiring. "You can not seek validation from other people. This world is very cruel. You must seek validation within yourself and be kind to yourself."

She was exasperated with the idea of determining the personality of a person with their physique and did what she did to tell that volume has nothing to do with value. I am pro-fitness and am still over-weight, that doesn't make me a hypocrite for not being what I believe or does not distraught me because I cannot touch my toe without bending my knee. Its called embracing oneself. To be precise, my size does not withold the measure of my smile.

Choices.

If you are gifted with a smart phone that does not support connecting to wi-fi, is you having a smart phone making any sense to you? Or if your job is well-paying so much that its more than what you wanted but still your boss is a crack-head making you feel incompetent, is that money still making you happy?

I am that person who'd choose spending lone time with myself than joining a bunch of good friends at the club or who would pass shopping with my husband who in fact wants to get me stuff, and rather sit near the window sill and ponder on what should be the next line in this blog post. As cliche as this may sound, it is true that each day brings with it hope, opportunity and experience. Its completely left to us to embrace it and make it a possibility. 

Doing what you think works for you best is the best way to be doing things.

Life’s a mix, of the good, better and best. There is no ugly, horrid or execrable. I say this because all the so called painful things that life brings us is like the dung that's essential for a plant to germinate and the flowers to bloom. We need the pain as much as the victory; the hardships as much as the glory and the wounds as much as the praise. Keep your worrying brief, just like this post. 

For the love of words.

Laboring for money and gratification rarely intersect. Most people run in parallels, while few have a good taste of both and try to fit in until they give up completely and choose what works for them monetarily.

                                      

I've been working in the Marketing Communication industry for almost 5 years straight after my MBA. Got married to a Marine, so had to quit my regular day job to acclimatize and get ready to swim into the tide of family bonding and take over the role of a bahu ;) Anyway, the point is, I love words, I always have. I generally set my Username to Logophile. I love calling myself that. I haven't known anything more fulfilling, comforting, empowering or strengthening than the words I write. I do not know if the feeling is mutual for everyone who writes for pleasure or work, but this is why I write. I find rest to my aching head when I spill the menace into a paper.

I wonder if everyone who have known their passion in life can relate to that as to how I look at words, mmm. I guess they will be able to, certainly. How else does having a strong love or passion for something justifiable if it does not distract you into giving it precedence above the rest of the important things in life. I remember my mom telling me how her younger brother (my uncle/maama) used to wash and clean his Royal Enfield first thing in the morning even before completing his morning chores. That speaks of the love for his bike. I am convinced love of that kind is imperative to persuade and succeed in life in their field of love. 

Personally recently, I have attained a new low in life. I literally drag myself out of my room every two to three hours once just to be in the vicinity and proximity of my in-laws. I am sick of watching Castle, How I Met Your Mother, Crazy Ones, Two Broke Girls, Boston Legal and Two and a Half Men and of course their re-telecasts during the day. Sigh! I've become painfully deplorable in watching YouTube videos with skip-able ads while I still watch them without skipping the ads. But in all this craziness and despicableness, the sweet fragrance and beaming light of words allures me in a twinkle of enchanted rhapsody.

That is my Saviour and redeemer keeping me sane and lucid.

Getting Lost Amid Trees

Fancy huh? Yeah I like the idea of it too. My closest experience being around full grown dense trees was my walk in IIT-Madras for a dance event. The University campus is a lush foliage. Its a miniature world in itself. I have been there only once and I know very little about what else the place holds. Its a scenic beauty I must say. Walking under huge masculine trees is a bliss in itself. Their branches spread out like muscular shoulders and you feel safe and loved under them.

It is hard to explain how I feel when I see the beautiful majestic and vast expanse of the trees, I feel they talk to me when I continuously look at it. I feel they're listening when I speak my heart. The beautiful sun rays between the ferns and fronds against the beaming radiant sky is worth a million bucks. That's my favorite view of the trees. The window in my room opens up to this comeliness, and I love how a lone ray of sun escapes into my room, lighting up my heart and bringing a natural smile on my face.

When I got pensive about how nature introduces a pleasantness in our life despite how we treat it, it syphoned my amazement to the Master of it all, the Creator God. Everything that the Lord has made is perfect. From the sun, moon, stars, trees, seas, wind, hills, valleys.. e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. including man. How we ruin it is a wonder! Anyway, am glad that the trees are always going to stand tall, calm and inspiring to everyone that come to it despite their state of mind and I personally will always look upto it!