Beware of the office flirt.

I have an appetite for unhealthy food and so does my heart for unhealthy relationships. The desire to feel belonged is the first hit of shovel on the grave of independence. Being in a relationship; the idea of someone dominating you out of their possessive love for you is what romantic best sellers are made of and what unadulterated teenagers in their adolescent prime crave for. But that is not what a liberal, forward thinking, independent girl like me can stick up with.

Boys come in all sizes and shapes (pun unintended, really). Yeah, there are the cute ones with vacant brains, the brainy ones with narrow minds, the douche bags border-lining as smarty pants and the wannabes trying to scale up at their charismatic game.

Every girl loves a little pampering, unfiltered compliments, a little tongue in cheek moments when *conversing* with the guy she is crushing on. You know the coquettish behaviour of flirtatious laughs, uncontrollable giggles and obvious drooling action? Yes, we all love it but hey, don't interpret all that coying to be a green signal to take things to the next level, cause buddy there is no next level in office flirting unless you are immature, sad and do not see your self-worth or is driven on attaining your full potential.

I am all in for socialising, cracking up, chilling out, even sharing inappropriate jokes and stuff, but hey, know what you want. Stay focused, don't let the circumstances take its own course, be in control. Besides, some people are really sweet, don't lead them (read as use them) if you're not planning on receive them at the other end.

Life goes on..

Packing lunch for parents is quite a nice thing to do, so I hurriedly stuffed their boxes, as parents can also be like the kids that run late to school. It was around 10 am and I felt that the day was already over. I hate the feeling of having nothing to do in a world of infinite opportunities. Um, yeah, I heard how it sounded in your head. So let me rephrase it, "I hate myself for allowing me to feel that I have nothing to do in this world of infinite opportunities."

Unable to delete those defecating thoughts of nothingness and self pity, I went to my room and spiralled on my bed. I was telling myself in the ghastly way possible that I do not want to sleep away right now, I do not want to be succumbed to anything lecherous or defiling on thoughts or actions just because I feel empty inside. I lay there feeling bleak at heart and pained in my soul. I think I allowed myself to fall asleep for 15 mins, it felt like one of those cold nights, where the chillness in the atmosphere gives you the feeling of luxury and comfort, the natures way. I thought it was raining as I could hear the droplets of joy and the smell of sweet petrichor and I could feel my heart dampen with cognizance and willingness to shake off my doleful and pessimistic feeling about life.

I turned over and faced the ceiling, still having my eyes closed as I was too afraid to open my eyes to my pathetic self. I told myself under my breath those 3 magic words, 'Life goes on..' 

"Everyday is a choice we make to improve our present state of life or dig ourselves an early grave." I thought of all the underprivileged people on this planet, destroyed by the inability to grow out of their poverty, drug addiction, slavery, epidemic diseases and those dying in war camps and battlefield. I thought of the free life I have, without ANY of the above mentioned cripplement. Every moment is a decision we make to be happy and bold irrespective of the circumstances we are in. 

Women, sometimes..

Somedays you find yourself unbelievably quiet. There's dimness in your eyes, dullness in your face and overall gloominess in your appearance. You don't feel good. You either feel too restless or too numb. Your movement will be limited, your emotions at its minimal activeness.

You'd spend your day either lying down on your back or sitting up in a perfect angled posture. Your eyes will concentrate on something that's most likely inanimate and most certainly of nil significance. You would prefer less or no contact with another person, verbal or otherwise. Eventually you will begin to think why you are feeling so remorse and why you are overtaken with such resentment, however your heart and mind will not cooperate and give you a logical answer, instead, it will complicate you further. 

This is a common thing in the life of a strong woman. She has her off days. Her backpack of responsibilities sometimes disorient and distraught her in intangible ways. Behaviour such as this is her body's way of reciprocating to the crazy madness in her life. It's perfectly normal, if you're a woman.