Day 14 - Writing challenge; Sheela & Rajendran

Sheela Rajendran is obsessed with laces. From handkerchief frills, curtains, dresses and even tea towels, her love for laces was far known. A beautiful woman. Kind, tender, sheepish-looking smile but genuine nonetheless. Big eyes but not Indian looking, rather middle east. Overweight but not obese. Wheat-ish and pale at the same time. A school teacher for middle-school. Soft to touch, snuggly and amiable. 

Her natural love for children was amplified in her tenderness and teaching prowess. A woman is most fulfilled in the design she was made, whether she believes it or not. And such woman do glow like a picture of devotion and contentment.

A woman's heart however is as deep as an ocean. The secrets she hold, her own people cannot fathom.

Mr. Rajendran was of noble birth and erudite. His gentlemanly and tall stature added to his credit. He was a shy man. They say that in his capacity as secretary to the minister of education, he has helped many underprivileged students overseeing the lack of requirements they must fulfill. He believed in duty, integrity and dignity for all. He inherited this job because of his father's passing and was working for the government in the ministry of education wing.

The story of Sheela and Rajendran is one of love, not of romance for they both are siblings. 

Day 3 - Writing challenge; Office bimbo, daddy's girl and summer trip

Such a long day! 

But mine doesn't end without keeping up the promise to myself, remember?

I went through 3 ideas for today's blog. Started each one partially and abandoned it midway. I read today that when you're editing after writing, if the editing takes more than 3 rounds, probably your messsge is shallow. Its not the words but the message or piece that needs reconsideration.

Since I have not been able to decide on the topic, I am just going to summarize in 2-3 lines every idea I could have stretched but wouldn't have made sense or could have had I had the vision.

Here goes.

Can't imagine a life where my dad is not around. Being alive in a world where your parents are not alive is the worst. I love and hate my parents. It happens in cycles and I have come to realise that is the healthiest and most authentic I have been to myself. Coming to terms with how I feel and having the courage to actually say it and be okay with it.

Some people just have their way in corporate by being dumb and shrewd. Its a toxic combo all the way. But they are successful nonetheless. Being kind, humble or hardworking is a good life virtue but not necessarily rewarding in corporate. I would still recommend being a good person than a shrewd and dumbass professional.

After saying NO to 5+ locations to our annual summer girls trip, I am beginning to feel left out. I know my decisions were well thought out. So its really not the saying no that's off-putting but the ambiguity of not knowing when the next trip is. You see our calendars are blocked at the beginning of the year more and less. We have an idea as to how the months will be spent. This not knowing and not controlling the outcome is not new to me, but having an attitude of positivity is definitely not me. I am hopeful and optimistic but well prepared for negative outcomes if anything.

I did have some more bits on tittilating writing, using of oxymoron and metaphors. How AI is coming for our jobs and know to feel about all this. Those thoughts were not refined even mentally to build upon. They were just peeking. I guess this is enough for now.

Caio.

Day 2 - Writing challenge; Write, teenage & promises to keep

Photo by Ayrus Hill on Unsplash

Hello, and welcome. Phew.

There is so much for us to unpack. Can you believe I have almost a book's worth of stories to tell from yesterday’s post to today. Perhaps its the writing challenge giving me the extra GB to remember a lot more than usual. As much as I would like to pour out everything in this blog. I have to consider why I started this challenge. a) To write consistently b) To help relieve myself of the overwhelming albeit productive thoughts 3) Prepare myself to write a book.

This is the premise. I have not decided the tenure and frequency of these posts. But one thing is certain. I am super excited for this endeavour and I know with certainty that this exercise is going to benefit me. Alright, enough of self-talk. Let’s get into it.

I hid a guy in the terrace at 18. Wait, I have done that earlier too, when I was 16. Just realizing it as I writing; this is crazy. So, I went to the apartment I grew up in to oversee some renovation work. While I was inching up the stairs, every corridor, parking lot, basement, entryway area was stirring up my mind and opening my eyes to things that have happened there while I grew up with vivid imagery.

Is this the meaning of reliving the moment?

I don’t have good memories of childhood. Actually, I don’t remember much. Even the things I remembered here are just silly and stupid things I did as a teen. But even in those memories there was no joy or laughter. Just scheming, hiding and lot of trying to get away. I want to see how the childhood of others my age were, like from their POV.  I hope there was lot of fun, dancing, meeting of friends, sharing food, feeling safe, knowing and feeling you are loved and having a real childhood.

Its incomprehensible for me to think how the first 10 to 15 years are still influencing your life even after 20+ years. Yesterday I was reading a LinkedIn post by Adhiti Jha – she is a Medium writer and she spoke about how when we writers publish a post, we are yearning to be seen. Our words to resonate with someone’s experience. Our vulnerability to inspire their growth. Our shame to heal their pain. Our truth to set them free. And in this process receive the validation of doing a good job.

Whatever happens writing should not stop. Art and creativity are the vocal cords of Society said Javed Akhtar. True, I write to share part of my life and in sharing that part I want to help, inspire and befriend my readers. But even if no one reads, I still did good. I used my voice, and from the universe’s perspective, I have wielded the sword with my fingers, and that’s being true to your gift and craft.

Its just day 2 and I am in high spirits about the challenge. I know it will not be the same all days, but along with this exercise, I am allowing myself to unlearn, learn and relearn patterns about me, so this is bigger than what I have let you know. I won’t let myself down till the challenge is complete. See you tomorrow.

Day 1 - Writing challenge; Sun, leaf & You on Netflix

There is a sweet romanticizing of the day to day in a writer's life. Making a big deal of small things. But that's who a writer is, right?! The over bearing observation and the blatant empathy towards all things feeling sensitivities that are not worthy to be recognized and peeling of the layers while the average eye can only see the one thing and think that's the core.

I have all my life watched with intent the gentle movement of leaves on against the summer breeze. It glistens gloriously especially around noon. It beautiful to witness the effect of heat on trees and plants. When i go to my terrace garden in the evening, I see the stems, buds and leaves looking dull, tired, ready to give up and even some wilted. The sun is no joke. It burns. It dehydrates. It exhausts you. Its relentless. Its consistent. Its out of your control.

It beats you down. But really, can any of us imagine a life without sun. its heat and light. That must be a dark dark world - metaphorically and figuratively. Sun is like the beating we get in life I think. Its pain, but its much needed to sustain. Need to learn to live with it. 

You know I was watching You on Netflix and in season 1 Beck gets this sudden will to write and publish because the events leading up to Peach's death and her relationship with Joe - it all erupted in her making her finally to become the writer she always desired to be. And again at the end, in the basement when she was trapped by Joe, she started writing in a typewriter reflecting her whole life.

That scene singlehandedly made me relate to her and this happened in the last episode. For the first 9 episodes, I couldn't relate to her life choices, but I did understand why she was the was she was. Anyway, all this is to say, your definition of you will unfold with newer experiences, self reflection and the intervention of God in your life - through opening your eyes of faith or miraculous healing. 

Don't give up on life. Don't look down on your life. Doesn't matter how much ever sad and pathetic it looks right now. Everything can be redeemed with God by your side and your desire/hardwork to change your life.

I like this picture of me in a Chosen scene.

I am thinking of getting back to posting on this blog for training to write a book (one day) and also for keeping up with writing everyday. I haven't decided how often to post, but I know this will just be a stream of consciousness kind of writing exercise. I overthink a lot and don't trust my intuition because I have so many thoughts and narratives overlapping and interjecting when it comes to decision-making. I also wanted to be private person and that meant not sharing too much on the internet. But sharing your thoughts is not sharing your life. Besides, writing is not a jolly hobby for me. I write for a living, so this is milk bread and peanut butter.