Song of the fighter woman

She swayed in the current 
Whilst thinking she had a plan
She was moving but not forward
Continuously inspired but insipid to act

Oh she talked of many possibilities
So much so, that her own words wearied her

She knew what uniqueness she was made of
Yet doubted her underlying greatness

She waited for life to take its course
And boy, did it not; There were many

seasons and she embraced them all

She pocketed them and harmonious

Her presence in the present seemed non-existent
Yet wise to not let mediocre prevail

She knew comfort meant trouble lurking
She had to had to take a stand

Life comes with only a finite number of  cards,

And here she was, already over drawing
She knew time has been racing her all along

Poor time couldn't see the competitor in her

Her hopes pinned on her steadfast heart

Her dreams now worked out as anchored plans 

She uncoiled, brought her feet to the ground

Leapt to take off and set sail

What remained now was for the world to see
See her fly in the vast compass of  the sky

Against the current, along the mighty eagles

Soaring high while conquering the storm 

Midnight awakenings.

The blood to her heart pumped in an uninterrupted motion. The day's chores were done, vessels were washed, curtains were drawn, night lamps glinted dimly and it was time to retire to bed. Her eyes refused to close, thanks to her unwarranted evening nap. Her faithful phone lay next to her nudging her with flickering notification lights, eventually seducing her despaired mind. She picked it up in one mindless scoop.

She surfed from pages to sites, profiles to channels, opened Apps after Apps; her burgeoning mind didn't seem to catch a break. At one particular point she became mindful when a video of two friends conversing alerted her. It was a Q&A on fashion blogging. Her forehead narrowed with interest, and her hearing grew powerful as the video played along. The jist of the conversation was this: One friend asked the other how she managed to make her blog popular. Her friend answered that she would stay up till 3:00 am to edit the pictures from the photo shoot and would learn other skills needed to run a blog. She said she does not like to be dependent on anybody for her work and prefers to do everything by herself. Since she was passionate she could stay motivated and push harder everyday.

<Grammar screw up alert: No more third person. That She is I. Moving along in first person>

I abruptly stopped the video. I felt inspired. It was not news which I didn't know. If anything, I knew working hard has its rewards. But working and working with passion are two different things. Passion is the payoff ingredient and that really struck a chord with me. I could feel my heart beginning to pump a gallon of blood. I could feel my heart soar at that moment. The time was 2:15 am. It reminded me of my plan and the aspirations of my heart. The things I ever so excitedly talk about it, but words mean nothing when there is no passionate work? 

I straightened myself and grabbed my notebook. I looked for my favorite pen in a frenzy. I was heavily inspired to document the revelation of the last couple of moments. I couldn't find the pen. I frantically looked for it and was getting increasingly peeved. And suddenly it dawned on me; my moment of clarity. I could see the mess in the maze of my plan. I could see how I get put off and discouraged for the smallest things. I do have a vision but I operate like a robot. I am not open or flexible, though I claim that I am. I guess I am lying to myself. I need perseverance. I need to be willing to take new directions even if it is ambiguous. Above all I need to work my tail off.

One of my fears had been that I am not ready to make it in the big world. I need to be at a certain level to become successful. This has been the torturous voice in my head for as long as I can remember. But today I knocked down that mirage that had me trapped all these years. I don't have to be ready, I just have to be unapologetically me!. Borrowing the words of Elizabeth Gilbert to summarize, "An imperfect plan executed now is better than a meticulous plan executed never." Our time is now. Believe and act away!

I live and die for days like this.

17:08 pm, 11 August 2017

She sensed there were only few seconds before a downpour. Her heart beamed with ecstacy as steady bursts of chilly winds rummaged her hair making her face itchy.

It appeared to her that her entire being declared to her with one sound voice, 'this is the life. This is the life you wanted. This is the life that serves you well.' She could feel her writing speed up as she heard voices and footsteps in the background running for shelter. She reckoned the first drops had landed somewhere.

She looked back at the blackening skies for one more time, her lips curved in a frigid smile. Her heart leaped in a jolly. Her weariness melted away. She found hope. She felt joyful again.

It was tea time.

The end.

17:11 pm, 11 August 2017

#ChennaiMonsoons