Day 13 - Writing challenge; two girls and a guy at crossroads

The year was 2002. Sonali was going to be 15 in a couple of months. Her father lived in Rajasthan for work. He was a tradesman. Her parents were somewhat estranged. It was not common knowledge but there was a man who visited Sonali mother often. 

So it was speculated. Nothing discussed. Scandalous in the eyes of their neighbors.

The unlabeled and unorthodox relationship she shared with her mother and 'uncle' was one she only truly knew. Her mother also sent her away to study in a convent up in the hills for all her school years. Her mother, being a mother did what she had to do to protect herself and her child. But the 11th std school year was over and Sonali had to come home for the holidays.

Around that time Kamini's family came to live in the same apartment. Her parents were in the textile business. Well-off, sophisticated and too busy to spend time with their children. In some way Kamini and Sonali were new to this place. Their souls perhaps spoke and made them meet each other. 

In the 90s, teenage girls were tired adults in a child's body. Yet they had their innocence. They celebrated birthdays together, went roadside shopping together, rode rented bicycles together and started growing closer. However they never spoke openly about what was going on in their lives. Their feelings, fears, shame, secrets.

One day something happened. Sonali had gone to collect her marksheets from school and when returning in the train along with her classmates, she met a guy. Probably in his late teens or early twenties. They sat across each other two boxes away in the same coach. Their eyes had met once accidently, and both were seeking occasion to have their eyes meet again intentionally but accidently.

Infatuation, desire, passion, adoration, obsession they all work together when you hit puberty. How you act when those moments of fleeting highs find you is backed by what you saw, experienced and witnessed in your childhood. Being the fearless girl she is, Sonali signaled Lucky to meet her at the end of the coach. They chatted, exchanged landline numbers with instructions on when to call, how many rings and so.

Sonali shared her wild adventure with Kamini who listened open mouthed and wide eyed. Suddenly the phone rang twice and stopped. Both laughed boisterously and Sonali had a naughty idea. Kamini decided to play imposter with Lucky. She spoke in a sweet, exaggerated, over-the-top voice in giggly chuckles as teenagers do. The girls laughed again bringing the roof down after hanging up. 

Sonali found this game of fooling Lucky more amusing and enjoyable that actually talking to him. Kamini on the other hand, having never had any opportunity or courage to meet or talk to a guy, felt like the apple had fallen on her lap. She thought of him day and night, waited for their calls, debated within herself whether to reveal her identity or maintain herself as Sonali.

Lucky liked the way Sonali looked. That's why he gave her his number. If I tell him the truth, will he feel deceived. But it was me all along. My voice, my jokes, my heart and my love.

She was too involved and too invested to let anything ruin what she had.

The new school year was about to begin.

Sonali had to leave.

Lucky wanted to meet.

Kamini was cornered.

What do you think happened next? 

Day 2 - Writing challenge; Write, teenage & promises to keep

Photo by Ayrus Hill on Unsplash

Hello, and welcome. Phew.

There is so much for us to unpack. Can you believe I have almost a book's worth of stories to tell from yesterday’s post to today. Perhaps its the writing challenge giving me the extra GB to remember a lot more than usual. As much as I would like to pour out everything in this blog. I have to consider why I started this challenge. a) To write consistently b) To help relieve myself of the overwhelming albeit productive thoughts 3) Prepare myself to write a book.

This is the premise. I have not decided the tenure and frequency of these posts. But one thing is certain. I am super excited for this endeavour and I know with certainty that this exercise is going to benefit me. Alright, enough of self-talk. Let’s get into it.

I hid a guy in the terrace at 18. Wait, I have done that earlier too, when I was 16. Just realizing it as I writing; this is crazy. So, I went to the apartment I grew up in to oversee some renovation work. While I was inching up the stairs, every corridor, parking lot, basement, entryway area was stirring up my mind and opening my eyes to things that have happened there while I grew up with vivid imagery.

Is this the meaning of reliving the moment?

I don’t have good memories of childhood. Actually, I don’t remember much. Even the things I remembered here are just silly and stupid things I did as a teen. But even in those memories there was no joy or laughter. Just scheming, hiding and lot of trying to get away. I want to see how the childhood of others my age were, like from their POV.  I hope there was lot of fun, dancing, meeting of friends, sharing food, feeling safe, knowing and feeling you are loved and having a real childhood.

Its incomprehensible for me to think how the first 10 to 15 years are still influencing your life even after 20+ years. Yesterday I was reading a LinkedIn post by Adhiti Jha – she is a Medium writer and she spoke about how when we writers publish a post, we are yearning to be seen. Our words to resonate with someone’s experience. Our vulnerability to inspire their growth. Our shame to heal their pain. Our truth to set them free. And in this process receive the validation of doing a good job.

Whatever happens writing should not stop. Art and creativity are the vocal cords of Society said Javed Akhtar. True, I write to share part of my life and in sharing that part I want to help, inspire and befriend my readers. But even if no one reads, I still did good. I used my voice, and from the universe’s perspective, I have wielded the sword with my fingers, and that’s being true to your gift and craft.

Its just day 2 and I am in high spirits about the challenge. I know it will not be the same all days, but along with this exercise, I am allowing myself to unlearn, learn and relearn patterns about me, so this is bigger than what I have let you know. I won’t let myself down till the challenge is complete. See you tomorrow.