As against the promoted opinion that nothingness is a form of pleasure, I'd like to assertively disagree. Nothingness is nothing less than a nada, nix, nil and barreness. I have recently stopped working, I'd like to say that am on sabbatical as this was my much needed break. I've pretty much worked all my life. You know what they say.. You don't know what its worth, until you lose it.. Eh, the funny thing is, it works the opposite way for me. I know how much time is important, because I have it in abundance.
My days are spent before the TV. I practically do everything before the TV but for pooping and peeing. I am losing my mind being in a state of nothingness. I never really enjoyed it, I am not put into it, I chose this and now I am hurting myself, mentally and physically by not doing justice to the time I have. There is so much I can do with this gift of time, but what I choose to do is wait out before the TV till the time I cannot take it any more and begin to rant.. just like this.
You know its very hard to explain my state of mind. Its like the picture above - I am screaming from within. There is confusion, distress, worry, disgust and yet clearly and most certainly I know what is wrong rather what is missing - Motivation. Life has never been unfair to me, I just stopped trusting it. Well, not anymore.
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