When girlfriends spill the beans

I present to you emotions. Emotions of wantedness, validation, belongingness and companionship. I have both given and received love in abundance. The soaring midnight calls, waking up to good morning texts, the i-miss-u's and the i-love-you's, the flirtatious nudging, pinching, holding of hands and rubbing of fingers within tightly held palms, the deliberately mistaken touch in a crowded elevator followed by a sly smile, inappropriate banter, from feeling each others toes from under the table, canoodling in a car or petting with eyes across a room amongst peers. 

I know it all, have seen it all, and had it all.

But what happens when you snap out from a Cecelia Ahern's novel and realise that's not good enough? This smoke of romance has been fogging your vision life. In other words, what do you do when life happens (read as shit happens). You look into those emotions, an the people associated with them and all you find are a bunch of prawn heads that make you squirm.

We want the real deal and most often than not, we realise we are somewhat missing it. It could be monetary accomplishments, emotional unavailability, or even not getting some. The need for an uplifting bunch of people to call as our own, our people and kin. Intellectual companionship that is simple and straightforward. No underlying intentions or hidden agendas. No need of coy or flattery. Just outspoken, honest and decent talk. Is that too much to ask Apparently! Despite being kind, approachable, jovial, temperament and level-headed, it's hard to find your tribe.

Its almost like being good and moral is the reason we fail. The world has changed so much that it doesn't hold good in good stead anymore. 

Call ended 00:57:29

Dear you.

It appears to me that the only time you have a conversation with yourself is when you are disappointed in yourself. Stop acting like you don’t know what I am talking about. I am talking about the lonely pillow talks with yourself crying and feeling miserable. Does that jog your memory? Or how about your silent suppression of self-esteem whenever you see someone prettier, smarter, wealthier or talented than you are? Now, don’t make me give you the ugly list of all the times in a day you do this to yourself, in fact every time you’re alone with your thoughts, isn't this what your really up to?

Are you stupid?

Nah, the right question is, how can you be so stupid?

I guess, I was right earlier. You ARE stupid.

Look at your palm. Seriously, look at your fingers. (I know you're not looking) you notice each of your finger is in a different size, don't you? If all the fingers were of the same size, you cannot use it like you do now. The lows and lengths in your life have a reason. They lead you to a new place. A better place. The kind of place where the pain of your past has a meaning. Don't disregard any experience as bootless. Life is not meant to be perfect. 

Look back at all the amazing and beautiful things that happened in your life. They were either preceded or succeeded by shitty, painful days. Life is like a lorry stuck in Mount Road traffic (Chennai references, hehe), there are times it will have its way, times it will not. Sometimes at midnight it has the entire road to itself like a boss. Its about the time and seasons. Change is the only constant. Don’t be consumed in the pain of the hopeless things that are happening in your life today. Look up. Rejoice. Remember the merry days, the smiles, the little joys. I don't see you grinning or laughing alone at night reminiscing the amazing things that have happened to you from your birth, then why do it only with hurtful things? Fill your heart with thankfulness instead of spite and bitterness. Prepare your heart for the beauty that is just ahead. Don’t wallow in pain, rise above! 

P.S I was encouraged to write this piece because every time I have a conversation with a friend or kin, they talk tirelessly on how gloomy things have been in their life. They hardly even mention or acknowledge any good thing. But knowing their life, I have seen in their lives successes and everyday blessings which they hardly make mention or celebrate. Pain consumes. Joy uplifts. But don't have to let pain consume us. We can let it fuel us. It is an option. Make that choice.

Sylvia by William Shakespeare

Song: “Who is Silvia? what is she”
BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
(from Two Gentlemen of Verona)

Who is Silvia? what is she,  That all our swains commend her?
Holy, fair, and wise is she;  The heaven such grace did lend her,
That she might admirèd be.
Is she kind as she is fair?  For beauty lives with kindness.
Love doth to her eyes repair,  To help him of his blindness;
And, being helped, inhabits there.
Then to Silvia let us sing,  That Silvia is excelling;
She excels each mortal thing  Upon the dull earth dwelling;
To her let us garlands bring
       _____________________________

Sir William Shakespeare, I tip my hat to you! My heart is swayed with each passing line. Honey dripping in sweet ecstacy. Women are exquisite even as they are. Fill her with goodness and you give us a goddess.

#poetry #poems #williamshakespeare #sylvia #poemporn #poemgasm
 credit: collectorprints.com

Inspired by a fierce girl who sat next to me at church

Let me paint you a picture. This girl was annoying and ill-mannered. You know those kids that think they are above others, avoid eye contact and act lofty. Yeah? I am sure you guys can relate to a niece or a nephew, a friend's child or may be your own ( just saying ;)) or someone right about now.

I generally scan the room for a kid-free zone before deciding on the pew. But just like my luck of having screaming babies for co-passengers in flights, I attract pissy teens and reckless toddlers in gatherings. This girl that joined me was a handful. May God have mercy. Kicking me from time to time whilst shifting her leg. Whiny, naggy, dear God!

 After a while, she took out a case of oil pastels and a drawing notebook. She wanted to duplicate the graphic on the case which was an evening sky behind hills. Her crayons were broken, chipped and messy. Of course. She then started to forcefully drill the crayons onto the paper and in swift movements went back and forth in a curve. Using reds, violet and magenta to paint the sky, filling spaces with yellows, peach and pinks. The drawing came alive and was iridescent. Then she did this cool thing by going over all of it with a white crayon to dim the sheen. I took a gander at her drawing and the pride in her eyes and broke a smile. 

Fast forward to today, I was having a #writersblock and wanted to catch a break. I decided to draw what she drew and follow her method. I pounded  and dragged my crayons exactly like her even though a couple of them broke. I must say I felt good and giggly, strangely liberating to be honest. I actually enjoyed it. Next time I see her I will show her this picture and talk to her, may be help her in mending her attitude. She is a child and I am not; which only means I have to be an adult and reach out. Inspiration is everywhere even in seemingly dismissive stances.

.

.

#storyteller #inspirationiseverywhere #lifelessonsfromachild #writingpractice #writingnarrations #writinginspiration #writingislife

My darling, words.

This is my textbook from when I was in school. After I completed my schooling, I cleared out my book shelf to make room for the college books. I preserved this book among few others because I felt this book needed revisitation. I recognized my interest in the English language when I was in 7th std. But I wasn't too keen up until class 9. My favorite subjects were history, geography, commerce, biology, tamil and english. In hindsight, I think my preference in subjects involved detailed writing than solving like maths, chemistry or accounts.

Anyway English II was in the lead for faves. It was a subject of stories, compositions and grammar. Nobody gave that subject any props because it was all too easy and effortless. I, on the other hand was super stoked about it. Since it was not considered a professional subject like science, maths or computers (it was not), I think I was disquieted to come out with my love affair with English because it was a secondary subject and I didn't want to be running in the sidelines. When I learned there was a subject called 'Advanced English' in the 4th group, I was torn. Sadly, I didn't know about following your heart or passion at that time, so I chose a different group.

But the heart wants what it wants, and I couldn't shake it off even when the years rolled by. I worked in corporate communication for a long time after I graduated. It was business writing, press release, blogging, media relations and social media. I was in a happy place, then somehow between jobs I derailed to marketing as corporate communication was a part of the marketing function in many organisations. Within a year in  marketing role, I knew I had to pull the reins. I wanted to retract to my first love but it was mayhem. It was a battle of staying in a job that pays the bills against doing what I was cut out for. The insurmountable dissatisfaction of not loving what I do and the inextinguishable desire to do what I love, fueled me to take the leap. 

I have started afresh and am excited for what's ahead, because my heart is in the right place and I know if I work hard, my dreams will come to fruition. There is something enchanting and seductive about literature, poetry and even simple childrens books. I don't think any other thing moves my soul like a compelling narration. Two weeks ago I visited the books marinating in the book shelves behind doors for years. When I spotted #TheCountOfMonteCristo I was thrilled and glee. I knew the time had come to pick her up after a decade. It felt like a reunion of sorts. I am concurrently listening to the audio book #TheOdyssey by #Homer and I am in literature heaven. Couldn't get any better.